No, I haven't been well the past month...probably triggered by the Festive seasons and the self-expectations that came with it.
I made some commitments to some people,
to sit in in training sessions, to acclimatise myself to work again,
to go in to SPICES every Monday
to teach a sweet young lady how to knit a scarf....
But I wasn't able to do all that. I don't want to be 'touched'. I need to be in MY bubble. Don't come near...in case you burst the bubble...Right now I just want to hide, in MY bubble and I have a feeling that I'll go berserk if the bubble breaks o_0.
My good Doctor always says that I should converse in "thought' (facts and logic) rather than "feelings" (metaphorical blah). But I don't think I'm in a bubble,..I just feel like I'm in a bubble. That makes a whole lot of difference. Screw the "Think" part for now... the function of WORDS for me has always had other uses other than conveying facts and logic. It is also figurative...to express what can't be seen.... He always doesn't get it when I say "I feel lost". He says 'lost' is not a 'feeling'...he confuses me. Hasn't he got lost or separated from his [parents in the mall or something when he was a kid? Not knowing where to go or what to do but cry? To feel abandoned and alone? That sums up to feeling 'lost " don't you think? blahs..
If all of those things I've said so far doesn't make sense at all. The following pictures might help you relate. Apple, our Pekingese happened to show me exactly how I felt.... (oh, the comfort of another soul who understands your heart without needing to say a word!)
"I'm hiding under there...do not disturb"
"Okay, don't come any closer now..."
"Yes, I'm sad and I'm not okay..."
So just let me be for awhile, okay?