Being apart is always difficult. Yes, although SC and I have been apart many times, in distance and time, it is still as difficult to say goodbye each time. When we were studying we had to be apart for a total of 3 years. And when we got married, he had training out station, and I thought it would be easy since we're married now, and also because we've been apart for longer periods of time, and location. But it was still difficult. After we were married, it was him who had to travel and me at home. Until my job required me to conduct training in Sarawak. I had to be away for at least 3 days or so.
And on the first day that we were apart, SC called me:
" Darling...now I understand how you feel when I go out station. Being home without you is so difficult and lonely"
Sometimes I think that the person left behind (at home) will feel lonelier than the one who's in the trip. This is because the person who is on the trip usually has work to do and is occupied and taking in new experiences. But the one at home will feel the great void of missing many things at home.
Recently he went for a short overnight company trip. This was the first time he went on an overnight trip since my relapse. It was so difficult, but I survived. These were some little things that we often take for granted because we are "married people".
When I woke up, I went to the sink to brush my teeth...Suddenly I realised that there was only one toothbrush in the glass. And that made me miss him. But the next day when he came back, I was so happy to see 2 toothbrushes in the glass...and I unconsciously used his toothbrush instead of mine...so silly (blush)
So, now comes the real challenge. 2 weeks from now, he will be going to China for a business trip and will be away for 8 days!!!
Alot of things crossed my mind, other than the fact that I am really going to miss him and also wondering whether I will be okay when he's away.
And I realised another thing. I have no friends. As in good friends who could come over and accompany me when he's gone. It was quite a disturbing thought to me. I still don't know how to make friends, but I guess I'm making some sort of progress by making friends with other crafters. I hope I can let those friendships grow. Until I met them/you guys, I never thought I could make friends anymore. So thanks for talking to me, and listening to me, accepting who I am.I am reminded that it takes time, and effort to build a friendship. And I have many things to change about how I lead my life.
So before I finish, I just want to say that it never gets easier no matter how many times I say goodbye to SC. Some people say you'll get used to being apart. But I don't think so. I think the next goodbye is as difficult as before and 2 people in love will never get used to being apart. For this, I am thankful that his job doesn't require him to travel so frequently as jobs might require.
And I will miss him very much while he is away, and I want it to stay that way. I want to miss him a lot no matter how many times he goes away. I never want to "not" miss him. I never want to get used to him being away.