Thursday, June 23



A long time ago, during my college years, I remember modifying a clock. I didn't like it because of some cartoon-ish background, so I picked the clock apart and put my own art on it. I made the numbers on the clock all wrong. E.g.: I put 12 where it was supposed to be 3. And then I stuck words on the clock hands,... "finite measures". Yeah, that was what I put "finite measures".

In hindsight, I realise how true those words are. I feel the pain of being always late or waiting. I was delayed for college due to clinical depression, and now I am stuck, with a relapse. There are so many things I think that I should be doing. And I know some people are waiting for me get well really quick.

When I think about it, time is really quite an important part of our lives. Don't you think it would be crazy if we were left in a time warp where we couldn't see if it was day or night or know what time it was? For some reason, I sometimes feel that it is out of His thoughtfulness and mercy that we discovered the clock.

So, it shouldn't be any surprise that the issue at the moment is being pressed for time. The recurring
questions of "how long more? I'm one more minute to letting go", "there's not enough time, someone has to continue this work", "Please come back soon, before its too late". I am equally pressed for time. I wonder how long this relapse will last. What if it stays this way until I die? How long before I can go back to my previous work? Or will I ever go back? 

Thinking about all these things make me wonder that, perhaps, God doesn't have a watch. As in a watch that has numbers on it, and gives us the certainty of 24 hours a day. You can't "rush it" with God. Or ask Him to tell you what time everything will be okay. Somehow its like He has a system of time for each person. I think of it as a personal watch. And He's like a watch-keeper, keeping everybody's watches and making sure they are on time. It's hard to "not know" when. It's hard to wait. 

He has all the time in the world. And only He knows when its "time" for everything. He's never "too late" or letting you wait for no good reason. So it seems that no matter how difficult it is going to be, I'll just have to wait, and trust, and keep doing whatever He has put in my hands at this point in time. 

Isaiah 55

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
   come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
   without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
   so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
   It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
   and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
   will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
   will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
   and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
   for an everlasting sign,
   that will endure forever.”


  1. never give up and go according to you pace. Me , dailou and appi will alwayz by ur side ok :)

  2. Great entry!We should respect time, just like time respect us ;)

    Decisions and growth made when in a rush is usually forced upon and is an unhealthy one, take your time and grow at your own speed, it's not a race afterall :D

    Flowers takes time to bloom, but when they do, they're the most beautiful one.

  3. thanks so much Beii for your beautiful and kind words. I hope I'm a flower =p