newsong heartfelt thoughts

See You this Weekend!!!

2011-09-28T09:09:00.000+08:00

Yes! This is the 3rd Supplies Surprise Bazaar (organized by The Handmade Movement) this year! I'm so excited to visit them this Saturday, 1st October 2011!

If you love to make crafts and want to have a good time, COME VISIT!!! I can attest to the fact that you crafters will go "gaga" over all the craft supplies available. From rubber stamping supplies, felt, cotton and linen fabrics, to polymer clay and miniature products, metal charms and jewelry making component to buttons and other imported craft equipments that are hard to find in Malaysia. Not to forget the lovely handmade soaps and balms homemade by Lullabelle!

The 1st Bazaar was great and the 2nd one Bigger and Better, So need I say more? See you there!!!

CLICK the image below for a map to BFree

If you can't make it this time, don't worry! You can always "like" their page on Facebook!

They also organize craft classes for you to learn and improve your handmade skills, so do check them out!

See ya!!!

Remember?

2011-08-30T19:48:00.000+08:00

Hello! I hope all of you are having a good holiday, and enjoying your precious time with your friends and family! Tomorrow marks our 54th National Day, or Merdeka Day. It feels a little different to me this year, because there are no "parades" or marches or helicopters flying around above Dataran Merdeka.

However, I feel that it is quite a good thing to have some sort of silence as proposed to pompous celebrations. I think sometimes, we may celebrate too much and forget what it means to have independence and live as a peaceful country for 54 years.So, I guess I treasure the opportunity this year, to ponder on, or reflect about what it meant to have gained independence, and about all the things that have kept us through these 54 years.

I believe that it is more than the infrastructures that make us proud to be Malaysians. It is not the KL towers, or the Twin Towers that make us proud. To me, it makes me proud to see that despite many conflicts of religion and race, that at the ground -roots we, as Malaysians respect each other and live harmoniously. Some may say that I am "dreaming". I know that there has been a lot going on recently, but I believe that how we live cannot represent the issues that are at most times very political.

Outside the political bubble, lies a freedom of respecting each other's race and religion. Kids of different races still come out to play downstairs at the small field of my flat. We know our neighbors and the maintenance "makcik" enjoys talking to us, about her children and her grandchildren. Although we may not know all our neighbors, I think our block/flat has quite an even distribution of races. And each time we walk into each other at the stairs or the corridor, we still exchange smiles.

So in a very small way, I still believe that amidst the chaos, there are still things to be thankful about, and things to commemorate about our lives as a nation.

For me, these are 5 things that i would like to be thankful about:

Freedom of religion
Somewhat freedom of expression
The people who live around me regardless of race/religion that have somehow come to be dear dear friends
Our elderly who still uphold our heritage as Malaysians
Rich cultures that are uniquely Malaysian

I think all these are more important than any monument or buildings. These are the things that are precious to me. These are the things that I would fight to defend. These are the things that I would hope to see more of.
These are the things that make me proud of our country.

Of course in many ways, our country is not perfect, and there is much space for improvement. But I would still like to hope a little hope that everyone, regardless status/race/religion will do the right things, even when it is hard and difficult. And hopefully in accumulation of all these noble acts, it will preserve what it means to live in "muhibah"

So how are you commemorating Merdeka tomorrow? For me, I would spend at least 5 minutes to be quiet and observe in silence, the significance of Independence and living together in harmony. Will you join me?

2011-08-27T10:56:00.001+08:00

To my dear Muslim friends,

Have a Great Day!

Sucker Punched

2011-08-17T09:32:00.001+08:00

Good Morning!
Hope most of you are enjoying your holiday, and those of you who are at work, well, "Keep Calm and Carry On" . Which is quite easily said than done.

Very recently, after my post about copy-cat-ing, I kinda saw something that looked very very similar to my own work. And my immediate response was "hey! that's mine! and just because you changed the position of the eyes and nose? does it make you a copycat?"

Then, I took a deep breath and exhaled. Then the phrase came to mind, "Keep Calm and Carry On". So like SC always taught me, I put my attention to something else for awhile, and then as rationally as I can, made mental notes in my head of all the possibilities:

1. Perhaps, we had the same inspiration
2. Perhaps we saw it in the same way
3. Or maybe just hitched on because mine was cute and irresistible not to re-create
4. Great minds think alike
5. Pure coincidence

The list could go on and on and on...but i decided to stop.
I had all kinds of things running in my head, like who had the idea first and given that she was more successful than I who is really really just an amateur in the handmade community. I felt like I was sucker punched.
SC just smiled and listened, helped me think of coincidences and such.

Then suddenly I realised that it doesn't really matter, reasoning about whose is better or who came up with the idea or who gets credit for it and such. (although it doesn't justify copy-cat-ing and pliagarism) It will only make me unhappy and temper with my mood for working on my handmades. And besides, if I continue to think about it, the would be no end to it...just like the Chicken and Egg argument... which one came first? the chicken or the egg?!

So, I decided, to turn around, walk away from it all, "Keep Calm and Carry On" doing what I do and doing it to perfection. I cannot prevent anyone from copy-cat-ing or plagiarizing my work, but i can choose how i respond to it. And I choose to turn around and continue doing what I do, with all my heart and soul. And concentrate on making it better and better and better.

And the reward? SC said " That's the spirit! I'm so proud of you!" And that, for me, was enough! And I'm heading off right now to continue my sewing with a clear and fresh mind. Tata for now =)

P/S

ever wonder about the origins of the phrase "Keep Calm and Carry On?". I've always wondered who came up with it first, and considering the fact that its being used and altered into so many different phrases "Keep Calm And Have a Cupcake" etc. Well, you know what? the original creator remains unknown. And if you're curious like me, do go and have a read about the origins of the phrase, at least you know where it came from, and when you use it, make a mental note that it was a work of an un-named genius =)

A thousand possibilities

2011-08-04T12:00:00.000+08:00

By now, I hope that the issue about the recent copycat 'maker' has calmed down a little. I am not writing anything to stir up unpleasant feelings, but just to share what I have read and learnt about this topic. It is always a topic that is in my mind. Especially when it comes to finding inspiration when you are having a "crafter's-block".

I've read a few articles about this issue and I just thought that I would share it with all of you, regardless whether you are a crafter, artist, or blogger. Here are some articles about blogging with integrity and of trying to find the fine lines between copying and originality.

Below is an excerpt from Elissa's article from Dress with Courage

The Free Dictionary defines a copycat as this:

cop·y·cat One that closely imitates or mimics another.
v.intr.To act as an imitator or mimic.
v.tr.To imitate closely; mimic.
adj.Closely imitating or following another: a copycat version of a successful product; a copycat crime.

We are all living in what Lawrence Lessig calls "remix culture." It is a time when there is literally nothing new under the sun. You're very seldom going to get an opportunity to do something that does not build on some cultural, artistic, or technical precedent. Copying is what you're going to be accused of it you produce a design that differentiates only in small or superficial details from someone's work. I personally define copying as creating something absolutely identical to what already exists.

Here’s the problem with copying: Copying skips understanding. You have to be able to understand something in order to personally relate to it. When you copy it, you miss that. You simply recycle an idea which someone else generated, based on their own personal life experience. You have no real connection to it, and will always be removed. For this reason, the copy typically lacks depth and detail. It’s usually pretty close, but there’s something not right about it. Which explains why I felt so uncomfortable in my duplicated look.

Inspiration is when you see possibilities no one has seen before. Inspiration comes when we translate a certain concept into something unique and individual. Developing a style further through the use of different accessories, colors, material, and even proportions immediately makes it personal. When you're inspired by a certain design, look or object, your creativity rises. You have energy to put your own twist on it, and make it your own.

~ by Elissa from Dress with Courage

Here are 3 more very professionally written entries by Grace Bonney for Design Sponge

And here is another discussion about imitation, inspiration and originality

A Fine Line: Inspiration or Imitation? by Erin of Design For Mankind written for Decor8

And one last one, which I think is a must-read =)

COPYCATS & COPYRIGHT: KEEPING OUT HANDMADE COMMUNITY SAFE written by Jesika from OhMY!Handmade Goodness

Although sometimes copying via C&P (cut and paste) simply shows that you have no confidence in your own creativity, and by copying, you are not only stealing, but hurting the original crafter's feelings. Sometimes copycats don't realize that anyone will notice where they copied from, but I assure you that there are people out there who have done their homework, and know where something came from wen they see it >.< and I am one of them.

I hope have not infringed or stolen any heartmades from anyone, but I can't be really sure, so if I have, I am sorry in advance. However, I truly truly believe that real artists have their own flavour and style that no copycat can reproduce. Because what is made with love cannot be reproduced...the love is not there because it doesn't belong to its owner.

Finally, I understand how agreeing about what is right and wrong is easy (as written in my previous post) but Standing up and putting things right is always the hardest part of all. So I just want to thank Pipit for being an advocate for all the crafters out there. Thank you for doing what you do, and for showing your sincere support for handmade and amateur crafters like me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I am not saying that I am any better, because I may have been guilty without knowing it, but I just want to say that we should all try to search ourselves deep within to find our inner style, and it will come out to be beautiful because it will be from your heart. I do not condemn you, copycat, but instead, I would like to encourage you to find yourself, you could produce exactly the same things, surely you must have some talent in yourself. Be confident, explore and you may be surprised for what you find. Just don't copy anymore, because, like I said, it's hurtful.

When I get uninspired,
I do these few things:

go out for window shopping...
i try not to go visit other craft sites because it will blur my originality
go out to my favorite places,
read books that inspired me or made me happy (usually children's books)
look for inspiration in the most unexpected places (like go visit a garden or candy shop etc.)
listen to music

So what do you do when you are uninspired?

p/s Owh and it takes just less than a minute to copy a link address or to refer an URL to the
original author, so please take less than a minute of your precious time to do so. It will show
that you have 'class' *winks

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

On A Lighter Note

2011-08-03T13:04:00.000+08:00

I know I have been writing quite solemn or even emo entries recently, so here's something that I want to share with all of you...Some humor in my life, in the most unexpected times and places.

Before we had Streamyx at home, we used to frequent Cyber Cafe's to get some online stuffs done.

And one day, we got a seat beside these 4 gamers,

we could tell that they were really serious about the game ( ala life and death).

And they annoyed me that they were so noisy especially cursing and swearing and random shouting, spewing out rude remarks.

I told SC that if I had a chance, I would invent a kind of helmet, like a space helmet kinda gadget, that was interconnected to their team members, and that the helmet had to be soundproof so only they could hear whatever nonsense they wanted to say, ans swear to their heart's content without other people having to hear them and get startled one too many a time.

And then, at that very moment, I heard the most intelligent, wise phrase from one of the loudest of the 4.

>.<

HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY!

Dear Nobody

2011-08-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

This is a letter to nobody in specific, but to a number of people whom I wish for to remain confidential. Hence, this will be a letter to "nobody".

Dear Nobody,

I think i'll never really know why our paths crossed and why I made you react the way you did to me. Perhaps it was just you or just me. We will never know and somehow, now it seems a lot less important now, but I feel that I just need to get this off my chest.

I learnt many things from you; tears, physical and emotional wounds and injuries, I learnt the meanings of being rejected, worthless, and used. I learnt that I might have been the only one so meticulous about meanings. As words cannot exist without meanings, but meanings can exist on its own, with or without words.I believed. But along with those I allowed myself to loose precious things from me too, things that I am slowly and very resolutely reclaiming.

I allowed myself to feel that I had to be someone else to be loved, to believe that I am and will never be good enough. I allowed you to change my view of the world, that it is all lies, and that nothing is real or true and good. I allowed you to make me believed that a big part of me had disappeared and died. I allowed myself to believe that people couldn't love me anymore because I've lost that "once" beautiful part of me.

I allowed myself or even tried so hard to meet up to your standards (which now by the way I think is shallow and nonsensical), that I never 'changed' to be the way you wanted me to be, to conform. I stupidly believed you that there were so many things wrong with me. And I stupidly tried so hard to get some crumb of approval. To allow you to judge me and be silly enough to try to come up with some sort of explanation for being the person I am.

I specifically remember a time when a car-ful of crazy guys started harrassing me while we were walking along the road, and i was imediately abandoned by all of you as you paced quicker and quicker away from me. And the greatest loss to myself is that I spent so much tears, sweat, and emotional energy on trying to please you when the real friend I had was right by me all the time. And my mistake? Spending the time on you rather than enjoying my friendship with her.

To this day, I know that your views of me have not changed, but I want you to know that you should stop asking me to change so that you can accept me into your 'circle'. You can stop waiting for me to be good enough. Because I am not who you want me to be, so you're just gonna make do and maybe put up an ad in the classifieds section. =p

I learnt that what all of you said was true, that people change. One moment you're a friend, the other moment when your house falls apart, they haven't even heard of you. But that statement will only holds true on yourselves, and it is lame to ever use it as an excuse to "end the conversation".

Because the evidence on hand is that my REAL friends have not changed in the most essential ways, in that they still remember who I am inside. You sometimes still complain that I haven't changed,...but i think somethings don't have to change, some things are good and pure and should remain that way. In a way, I am happy that those parts of me haven't changed, but sad at the same time, that parts i wish hadn't changed are lost..at least for the moment.

I learnt that not everyone does to you what they would others do to them. I learnt that even when you were my 'family', truly, and in Him. The littlest grain of jealousy and scheming could make everything fall apart. And that sometimes people can be so selfish to destroy a very precious thing just for a personal gain, and still think that what was lost can be rebuilt. But sometimes, it can't and when the scars are too deep, you might still be able to say hi and bye, but nothing more because we both know it went too deep.

My heart longs to reconcile. I forgive, but I cannot forget. But I remember in a different way, without so much pain and hatred but more of regret that maybe if I had made better decisions, things would have turned out differently. Also wondering what it was that made all 12 of you hate me so much to have to hold a meeting to question me. I am sorry if you had not felt my love that I have been pouring out to all of you. And to you and you whose bonds were broken too deep to be repaired, I await the day when there will be no strife amongst us. But for the moment I want each and every one of you 12 ppl to know that I have always loved you, and I still do. I just don't know how to show it anymore. Perhaps in time i will remember how.

I allowed you to make me silent and submit to your arbitrary 'rules' according to your fancies. I saw how it could be done, sneaking around and changing standards according to one's conveniences. I learnt that whatever we do, people are watching. And they will see for themselves when your actions intentionally do not match your verbal standards. And I learnt that we are all responsible. And if we pretend to be too many different peoples to all the different audiences, we forget who we are.

I allowed you to forgo the chances I would forever wish I had never lost. And a Goldfish is not a Dog, and a Dog is not a Goldfish. Although I experienced pain anger and tears when I was there, I learnt to love you, i hope you felt it. And deep down inside you I know you are a very beautiful person. I may not understand your actions and words that sometimes come off as cold. I just want you to know that you'll be fine just being yourself.

You taught me that doing the right thing wasn't easy. Requesting for the right thing would not work too, but Speaking up and saying that things are not right would make you a majority of one. I learnt that once I did that, I immediately lost more than half the people around me.

I realised how easy it is to agree about what is good or bad. But standing up and speaking up to the majority that what they are doing is wrong is social suicide. If there was a list, I was immediately excluded and 'crossed out'. And from then on, seen as "them". And considering how it happened, I understand how much it hurts to be referred to as "social-service/social work".

I knew it was hurtful and wrong and at that time, but now, years after that incident, I wonder if people see me as "social-work" too. And I wonder if there would be someone who would stand up for me too. But time passes and I know and hope you have all been better people.

So to the people who feel sorry that I haven't changed to be better enough for you, thank you for your good intentions, and patience. But do not waste anymore precious time waiting on me to conform, because I stand out like a sore thumb among you, and its okay,.. because i'm just a sore thumb only when I'm around you.

But MOST OF all,
Thank you, for teaching me that meanings will never change
for making me unafraid of being so alone
(physically and emotionally)
for making me brave to be a square in a round world
for helping me learn to be tougher emotionally
for making me tough in the streets
for knowing what to expect when I stand up for what is right,
and for being unashamed of it, or being afraid of the solitude that comes with it
for knowing how it feels like to be discriminated
for teaching me how to dust it off and stand up again
for teaching me to be quiet
for unintentionally making me stronger, faster, and more efficient and resourceful

and

For creating this dark canopy over me that all my true friends
lit up brightest even more in the darkness that was around me
For making me realize that TRUE friends do exist
and that my true friends have always
remembered who I was, and believe that I can find my way back there again.
for seeing me through to the core
and loving me still as i am.

About My Extended Families and Beautiful People

2011-08-01T10:42:00.000+08:00

Recently, a number of people have been asking me about my previous job, and what's my "dream job".
Well, I can say that in this life, in this world and time, my "dream job" was my previous job.

I was just an ordinary teacher teaching and walking alongside extraordinary beautiful children. They were different in the eyes of almost everyone, they were "labelled" as I am now.

Perhaps a little history of my life, before I even breathed my first gasp of air. When I was in my mother's womb, I was a deformed fetus. In the first place the probabilities for me to even be conceived were close to nil. And when the time came closer for me to be delivered, the doctors confirmed and prepared my parents to expect a baby that would be severely physically and psychologically deformed. What they could see was that I had no arms apart from other defects, and also that I had Hydrocephalus. And my parents were really worried, but my dad, being a person who doesn't express himself easily actually wrote a letter to me before i was born. In the letter it said that that he would still love me no matter how I turned out to be. Somehow the letter got lost, I never got to see it, but it meant a lot to me...because i don't get to see that side of my father very much...

So, during the delivery cramps, a group of close family friends including my Godparents from Singapore were anxiously waiting and praying in the waiting room. And when the doctor came into the waiting room, he said it was a miracle because I was perfectly normal. And I remember my mum telling me that she took so much pleasure counting my toes and fingers.

Sorry that I tend to digress.

Back to my previous "job". I wouldn't really call it a job, because calling it a job would make it a chore and it would involve an agreement of wages. It was more like my life. It it was more like my family. Each and every one of them, all of their parents, and their siblings, everyone of them, they became my family, my friends. So people often say that I must be a very patient and good hearted person for being a teacher for children with learning difficulties. But you know what? Nothing in me was ever patient or understanding until I had the privileged to spend time with them.

I taught them, and learnt to know them as a person, beautiful people they really are,..and they changed a lot about how I saw things. And they taught me to listen without words being spoken, and they taught me to understand an uncommon language, that it is entirely possible to communicate with no mutual form of language at all. They let me in to their beautiful, brave and pure world, and they let me stay awhile and just revel in the moment of seeing the world through their eyes.

Most people think that they are "hopeless"...in fact we are the ones who are "hopeless" if we are so ignorant to think that we are so very different. We are all built with a common design, heart, soul and mind. And where there are those commonalities, we are all capable of feelings, love and joy. We are very wrong to walk away when someone talks or communicates with us differently, thinking that they don't make sense. We would be the ones at lost.

So that was what I did as a "job", working alongside my very special family, silently listening, understanding and coaching. And even the smallest step forward will always means a lot to me, greater than any Olympic medal, because of what they have in them and the strength and perseverance thay have put into the things they try to learn.

Sometimes, I think that we are being somewhat unfair. We keep trying to make them understand our world. But why don't we try to understand theirs as well? If you haven't met a beautiful person like I've described, you should, because it would definitely be your loss if you have never had done so.

This is also the reason why I enjoy training other teachers about the precious ones. There is so much that we miss when we only want them to be "normal". But when we see them as "person's" everything changes, and there will come a time when a beautiful connection will be secured.

Honestly,...I have always felt that they made more sense to me, than the many people termed "normal" to me.

And so, now about me being "labelled" as they have been. I guess it happens all the time. When you are 'different" in some ways, like me, having clinical depression. We get misunderstood all the time. Or I think I do. People would feel obligated to be gentle to me and be nice to me in fear of hurting me. But its kinda like the same thing you know, when you try to see through my eyes. I am trying, and you will know, if you see hard enough, that we are all very much alike.

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."

~Fr. Jerome Cummings

They knew me, but they let me in to their world anyway...and that is priceless. I am in another "job" now, which I hope will be temporary because my heart belongs to those very very beautiful people, to my extraordinary friends.And I have met some new extraordinary friends too, whom I believe will slowly help me heal anf find my way back where I belong.

p/s. In a different world, a different place and time, my dream job would a forensics psychologist, criminal profiler, or human behaviour psycholgist >.< but i guess i'm happy about the time and place i am right now =)

Yellow

2011-07-08T08:47:00.001+08:00

Yellow is really just a color. It is the pure longing of Malaysians for a better country that lies behind yellow. Making a yellow t-shirt illegal means nothing, because nobody can take away what we believe. We don't want trouble, and it has nothing to do with race or religion. So, I say yellow, because I love my country, I love Malaysia.

Surprises Surprises and More Surprises!!!

2011-06-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! It's Thursday already!

Only 2 more days to Supplies Surprise Bazaar 2! And this time, its bigger and better, with at least 24 participating vendors (double of Supplies Surprise Bazaar 1)!

I can't wait to be there, not only because its a crafter's supplies heaven, but also because of the good and friendly company, and pleasant environment. If you love making your own crafts, please do drop by and indulge yourself with all the supplies usually not found in commercial stores.

The venue is bright and cozy, and fully air conditioned! So come on this Saturday, starting from 12pm to 7pm, and join the fun! Newsong will be there, with beads and jewelry making findings as well as wood pieces for decoupage and folk art painting.

This bazaar is brought to you exclusively by The Handmade Movement. Don't forget to also check out the craft classes that they are organizing, such as scrap-booking, jewelry-making and soap-making!

CLICK HERE FOR THE MAP AND FULL ADDRESS!

See you there!!!

Of Toothbrushes and Friendship

2011-06-28T10:15:00.000+08:00

Being apart is always difficult. Yes, although SC and I have been apart many times, in distance and time, it is still as difficult to say goodbye each time. When we were studying we had to be apart for a total of 3 years. And when we got married, he had training out station, and I thought it would be easy since we're married now, and also because we've been apart for longer periods of time, and location. But it was still difficult. After we were married, it was him who had to travel and me at home. Until my job required me to conduct training in Sarawak. I had to be away for at least 3 days or so.

And on the first day that we were apart, SC called me:

" Darling...now I understand how you feel when I go out station. Being home without you is so difficult and lonely"

Sometimes I think that the person left behind (at home) will feel lonelier than the one who's in the trip. This is because the person who is on the trip usually has work to do and is occupied and taking in new experiences. But the one at home will feel the great void of missing many things at home.

Recently he went for a short overnight company trip. This was the first time he went on an overnight trip since my relapse. It was so difficult, but I survived. These were some little things that we often take for granted because we are "married people".

When I woke up, I went to the sink to brush my teeth...Suddenly I realised that there was only one toothbrush in the glass. And that made me miss him. But the next day when he came back, I was so happy to see 2 toothbrushes in the glass...and I unconsciously used his toothbrush instead of mine...so silly (blush)

So, now comes the real challenge. 2 weeks from now, he will be going to China for a business trip and will be away for 8 days!!!

Alot of things crossed my mind, other than the fact that I am really going to miss him and also wondering whether I will be okay when he's away.

And I realised another thing. I have no friends. As in good friends who could come over and accompany me when he's gone. It was quite a disturbing thought to me. I still don't know how to make friends, but I guess I'm making some sort of progress by making friends with other crafters. I hope I can let those friendships grow. Until I met them/you guys, I never thought I could make friends anymore. So thanks for talking to me, and listening to me, accepting who I am.I am reminded that it takes time, and effort to build a friendship. And I have many things to change about how I lead my life.

So before I finish, I just want to say that it never gets easier no matter how many times I say goodbye to SC. Some people say you'll get used to being apart. But I don't think so. I think the next goodbye is as difficult as before and 2 people in love will never get used to being apart. For this, I am thankful that his job doesn't require him to travel so frequently as jobs might require.

And I will miss him very much while he is away, and I want it to stay that way. I want to miss him a lot no matter how many times he goes away. I never want to "not" miss him. I never want to get used to him being away.

Time

2011-06-23T10:12:00.001+08:00

A long time ago, during my college years, I remember modifying a clock. I didn't like it because of some cartoon-ish background, so I picked the clock apart and put my own art on it. I made the numbers on the clock all wrong. E.g.: I put 12 where it was supposed to be 3. And then I stuck words on the clock hands,... "finite measures". Yeah, that was what I put "finite measures".

In hindsight, I realise how true those words are. I feel the pain of being always late or waiting. I was delayed for college due to clinical depression, and now I am stuck, with a relapse. There are so many things I think that I should be doing. And I know some people are waiting for me get well really quick.

When I think about it, time is really quite an important part of our lives. Don't you think it would be crazy if we were left in a time warp where we couldn't see if it was day or night or know what time it was? For some reason, I sometimes feel that it is out of His thoughtfulness and mercy that we discovered the clock.

So, it shouldn't be any surprise that the issue at the moment is being pressed for time. The recurring

questions of "how long more? I'm one more minute to letting go", "there's not enough time, someone has to continue this work", "Please come back soon, before its too late". I am equally pressed for time. I wonder how long this relapse will last. What if it stays this way until I die? How long before I can go back to my previous work? Or will I ever go back?

Thinking about all these things make me wonder that, perhaps, God doesn't have a watch. As in a watch that has numbers on it, and gives us the certainty of 24 hours a day. You can't "rush it" with God. Or ask Him to tell you what time everything will be okay. Somehow its like He has a system of time for each person. I think of it as a personal watch. And He's like a watch-keeper, keeping everybody's watches and making sure they are on time. It's hard to "not know" when. It's hard to wait.

He has all the time in the world. And only He knows when its "time" for everything. He's never "too late" or letting you wait for no good reason. So it seems that no matter how difficult it is going to be, I'll just have to wait, and trust, and keep doing whatever He has put in my hands at this point in time.

Isaiah 55

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.
¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
   come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
   without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
   so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
   It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
¹² You will go out in joy
   and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
   will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
   will clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
   and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
   for an everlasting sign,
   that will endure forever.”

Where are you going?

2011-06-20T14:07:00.000+08:00

Hello Monday =.=

I haven't been very well recently. Too many issues in my head and its confusing and keeping me down and feeling upset. I hope all is well with you however.

I've been doing alot of thinking recently. And for some reason, I remembered a compilation of short stories and writings by Joyce Carol Oates and other contemporary women writers. Do you read her books? I used to read alot of her writings.

Anyway, the book that I remembered was entitled "Where have you been, Where are you going?" That's a tittle of one of her stories in her book, of a tragic tale of a teenager's downfall. However, that wasn't the story that captured my attention. It was the title, "Where have you been , Where are you going?". I remember reading somewhere in the preface saying that instead of asking "how are you" To really know a person, you only need these two questions. I thought that it was a brilliant question.

It made me think of myself. "Where have I been?" in my life so far... and "Where am I going?" from this moment in time. I think it was a very good question for me to reflect on, at this "crossroad" of my life. I don't really have all the answers. At the moment, I can only tell you where I've been.

Where I've Been. I'm not totally proud of where I've been. Sometimes I still relate to Pink!'s song "Perfect", especially the line "so much hatred, such a tired game". It is a tired game. And all these years, trying to fit in only to be rejected, has really worn me thin. Sometimes I wonder. If I really am a square peg, just stop trying to force me into a round hole already! It's enough that you think so many things are wrong with me, but you make it even more painful when you imply that I have to change who I am to be a 'person'.
I've done things I'm not very proud of, I've let people I loved most down.
I have also been to a firing squad...standing there in front of all the gunmen, but they keep missing and shoot me at all the other places that won't kill me. I've been misunderstood, used, lost, and abandoned.

"But, look I'm still here"~P!NK

I've also been rescued, convinced to believe again, loved, and understood by a few close precious friends.

"Where am I going?"
These recent years have been very difficult for me. And this Question still begs to be answered. Many people have so many different opinions about where I should be going. Sometimes, I feel the pressures of people expecting and hoping for me to go back and continue doing whatever they think I'm good at. But what if I'm not ready? What if I'm supposed to go back, but I don't want to? Which is why I've come to the conclusion that right now...I have no CLUE whatsoever of where I am going. And it sucks.

Sorry for a really upsetting post. But I promised I'd be 'real' and share with you my ups and downs. So here it is. How about you? "Where have you been, Where are you going?"

Awareness Project 2

2011-05-25T09:32:00.001+08:00

Hello!
Wednesdays are the best, because it's halfway to the weekend! I hope you are having a fantastic week so far.

I have been thinking about how to write this unofficial mini-report about my 2nd Awareness Project, which took place at Newsong's booth during the Pipit Wonderful Market 6. You can read more about this Project here, and the previous one here.

The reason that I have been taking so long to write about this is really because I have mixed feelings about it.

The "GOOD"s :

I had two very helpful young people to help me specifically for the Awareness corner. Their tasks were to tell visitors about the awareness of acceptance of people with learning difficulties, hand them a leaflet, and a silver ribbon in return for their signature to show support.
Many people responded. The board that I made for the signatures was filled with signatures about 2-3hours after opening time. That was really fast.
I intended to aim for 50 signatures and 50 ribbons to give out, but it turned out that I didn't have enough to give away! I had about 170 pins. And they were all gone.
The 100pcs of leaflets were also all given away.
About 30-40% of the people stopped to ask about the cause, listened and asked questions.
The overall feedback was positive, and I am happy to see a few parents waiting in line, asking their children to sign and wear a ribbon as well.

A BIG THANK YOU

to all of you who signed to support the

Awareness of Acceptance of People with Learning Disabilities.

And now for the "NOT SO GOOD"s:

I don't think I prepared my helpers well enough, because they started of by saying "please sign? yah just sign only"....which was very bad. My bad. And I had to quickly stop them from saying that and tell them that they had to explain before asking people to sign.
I underestimated the number of leaflets to print, and ribbons to make.
Some people were still wary of us wanting to collect monetary donations.
I wonder about the other 60% or so of visitors who signed without asking any questions.Would they read the leaflet we gave out? Do they really know what the cause was? I can't say for sure, but I can only hope that they will read the leaflet and understand it.

So, it seems that the number of pro's are more than the con's, but to me the BAD's matter alot.

In retrospect, These are my thoughts:

Am I doing it the right way?

I realised I want to go for Quality and not Quantity, and that the number of signatures clearly does not make any accurate indication of people being made "aware".

I don't want to be seen as a signature 'collector' who is doing 'charity'. Because that's not what its all about. Its about the cause, its about learning about accepting people with learning difficulties. And if the people whom we approached didn't know what they were signing for, it is a FAIL.

And I am sad and upset by the thought that most people really weren't given a good explanation of what they were signing for.
So my approach has major problems that needs to be attended to.

Perhaps low traffic events are a better place to hold these Projects? Since I think I would have more time to explain and answer any questions people had to ask.

Another big question would be "Should I set aside certain events, to purely set up a booth especially for awareness?" Which means that I will not be selling anything on these events, just 100% awareness.

So, really I am in doubt whether I should carry on with these Awareness Projects, because if I can't do it the right way, it might do more damage than good. What do you think? Do you have any input on this? I'd really appreciate it regardless whether its good or bad. Help me out here will ya?

As for those who didn't make it, or didn't get my leaflet, here it is.
Click on the images for larger views.

*if you wish to use it, please WRITE TO ME PERSONALLY TO ASK FOR PERMISSION, thanks in advance =)

Confessions

2011-05-23T15:44:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I have so much to write that I don't know where to begin! Since the Pipit Wonderful Market 6, I have been so busy and inspired! Finally having the time to have some leisure in making what I want to make. Currently I'm back to embroidery and patchwork... Leaving the crochet hook to rest for awhile.

I've learnt so many things at Pipit Wonderful Market. As a self taught crafter I'm always stingy about buying crafts that other crafters make, because I would think that "I could make that too". Well, I learnt that it's not about whether you can make it yourself. It's about the handmade-life, learning to appreciate what others are gifted to make.

I grew up making lots of stuff, from handmade cards, teddies, jewelry making, embroidery, knitting, crochet and sewing. But I recently discovered that I had to pick one out of the many stuff I know how to make. One that I really love and want to perfect. And then, do it to perfection. This is what I learnt from the artists at Pipit. So, you will be seeing more of my handmade lace in the future.

It feels different when I buy something that another fellow crafter has made. There is a special feeling in owning something handmade by others, who also put their heart into making the things that they are very good at. Now my work-space is filled with treasures I've found along the way, and it inspires and motivates me in this handmade life. There is warmth in it.

I must confess that lately, I have been doing alot of handmade shopping (grin). And I am one very picky person! I haven't got a nice scrunchie / hair tie for such a long time because I didn't see anything I really liked. Same as my shoes, I waited for almost 3 years?..before getting new ones because I didn't see anything I liked! (yes, I am very picky!)

So, what did I buy? Hahaha....

I ordered this online, from Lazybone Handmade, because I was too slow to check out her store at Pipit Market, and they were all sold out! Isn't the packaging simply beautiful? I cut the paper at the edge so I could keep the packaging!

I requested for the ants cotton tape ^_^ and polka dots!
and its really big and nice so that when I wear it and tie it twice, the patterns on the hair-tie can still be seen!

I just simply fell in love with this small pouch by Yusie Crafts. And her work is so detailed!
I could never make something so pretty! And she even included a handmade card with a sweet little peg. I love them!

absolutely loving whatever I got from Pipit Market!
Bottle-cap Brooches from K'ling Kalang,
Bag tag/keyholder from Absolutely Emmy
Wooden camera phone charms from GeoWood
Limited edition screen print bag from Pipit
craft kits from Pupurin

Postcards by Wonderkitten

the kitty I made from the kit I got from Pupurin ^_^ I modified abit to make it look like me (haha)
And recent visits to Pipit Zakka Store just gets me leaving the store with some new tiny precious treasure!
See the rainbow brooch? Made by TinyPinc. It was the only one there!
I love my rainbow!

badges by Individium from our first visit at Pipit Zakka Store

a bag reversible bag by Sewing Monster

And yesterday, we came home with this little pipit! Isn't it cute! 100% handmade, hand drawn, and only 1 in the whole wide world!
There's only 2 or 3 more left, a robot pipit and a sweet tooth pipit, and a few more keychains!
Go get one before they're all gone!

The packaging was so pretty that we both agreed not to open it. So its hanging at our desk table lamp right now !

Owh and Pipit Zakka Store is really a wonderland for handmade lovers. Its a warm and cosy nest, an entirely different world in that small space! Make a trip there, and you'll understand what I mean. Everytime, there is always something new to discover! A small space filled with handmades from crafters around Malaysia, how cool is that?!

So that's all for now! I'll be back again tomorrow, I have so much to write, it's pilling over me!

Till then, Have a MOHsome day!

And support local crafters, yay!

A meeting of creative minds

2011-05-11T22:47:00.001+08:00

Hello!

Last weekend, Newsong had the opportunity to participate in the long-awaited Pipit Wonderful Market 6, at the Annexxe Gallery, Central Market. It was such a memorable experience! When we arrived at 10.45am, vendors were already setting up their booths. We quickly picked a space and started to unpack and set up our stall. At about 11.30pm, visitors were already waiting to come in!

First of all, thanks to Mike and Ivery for organizing such an awesome event! Thank you for making everything so perfect and comfortable for us (vendors). Newsong appreciates that!

Thanks Kenneth and Chelsia, Siaw Lin, Jeremy, Monica and gang, Suan See, Beii and her father and little Jasper (it was a delight to meet the little fellow!), Melvin and Diva, Thong How and Pei Yee, and Wing's Zakka for stopping by to support us! Also thanks to my two minions, Anne and Shan Huay who were great help to us especially with the awareness project. And finally, thanks to my dearest SC, who support me all the way <3

Actually the excitement hasn't sinked in. And I'm kind of lost for words at the moment, because it was such a huge event for me, and there is so much to write about, I don't know if I can fairly give credit to all the artists and especially Mike and Ivery who organized the event. So I shall let the pictures speak for themselves.Please click the picture below to go to my Flickr album.

Thank you to all of you who stopped by at our stall, it was nice meeting all of you! I am so glad to so many local crafters, who are really creative and talented! I also had some short moments catching up with old crafty friends.

I didn't manage to go around and take photos, but thanks to my brother in law, I have some photos of the overall event. (Although I still wished that I could take photos of every single stall there was! no kidding!)

And these are what we came home with...

eco-bag from Pipit, Bird bag tag from AbsolutelyEmmy, wooden old-style film-maker by Geowood, cute bottlecap brooches by K'ling Klang, and 2sewing kits by Pupurin

I am so sorry that I cannot write about all the crafters that I admire, there's just to much going on in my head right now. All I can say is All of you ROCK! (Pipit organizer, vendors and visitors)

Join Me?

2011-05-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Its 3 more days to Pipit Wonderful Market 6! I know, I'm obsessed but you can't blame me because i's the most anticipated event of the year for me! And I'm so nervous, and so excited at the same time, sometimes I wish I wasn't a vendor so I can just go on Saturday for some handmade goodness, but then I wouldn't want to miss out the experience of participating in it! Can't have my cake and eat it eh? But who cares, as long as I'm at right there at the Market on SATURDAY, right?

A little update on my Awareness project, this is what I've made:

I made this square board out of recycled polystyrene and attached a piece of calico on it. That's where you'll be putting your signature. Then I embroidered silver colored sequined thread onto a black piece of cloth, and secured 50 silver ribbon pins on it. We bought Sharpies, a colorful bunch, so it will look nice and colorful at the end of the day (crossing my fingers).

I've attached 50 silver ribbon awareness pins on it, in good faith that you, you and you will come and take one home, and put down your signature (on the white part of the board) in support of Acceptance for People with Special Needs/Learning Disabilities.

Remember, its 7th May 2011, this SATURDAY from 12 to 7pm, at the Annexxe Galleries, Central Market!

I know its gonna be lots of fun, so don't miss it! See you there!

7 days to go!

2011-04-29T10:42:00.000+08:00

Hello Friday!

It's 7 more days, left to go before Pipit Wonderful Market!!! Are you coming?

Here is a sneak preview of my latest collection. They will be released on May 7th, Pipit Wonderful Market 6.

So if you want to be the first people to view these beauties, come on over next Saturday, See you there! And don't forget to come and collect your silver ribbon pin yah!

I thought I would, But I COULDN'T

2011-04-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

Hi there!

Ermmm, I sort of said I'm on a 'break' from making things...but that supposed 'break' didn't even survive 24hrs! (grin)

My hands and fingers, ictchified. So...

The book in this image is Inhae's book, MY MILK TOOF. You can now order it at KLCC Kinokuniya!

...like that lor...

But I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to My Milk Toof, faithful buddies of the amazingly creative Inhae Lee! We followed her blog My Milk Toof, and when we knew that she was comming out with a book, we planned to get it as soon as it reached Malaysian bookstores.

And It was supposed to be a surprise, but ehhhemmm, SC was talking to me while in the transition of "reality and dreamland" and he burst the bubble =p

He said, "its 60 bucks"
and i said "what?"
He says : "the book, i ordered....
DON't talk to me when I'm sleeping!!!

And so, that's how I knew =D But it was no less a surprise though, we were so excited to collect it at Kinokuniya in KLCC, and finally bring 'our' ickle and lardee home!

Oh, they are kept dearly in our thoughts, Inhae, and have brightened much gloomy days!
Perfect remedy for melancholy!
So, what are you waiting for?

Go buy her book! and check out her blog, and the terrific adventures of Ickle and Lardee.
I can't wait for the next book to come (hint, Inhae)?

So pop on over, and tell me which is your favorite MILK TOOF, Ickle, or Lardee?

10 more Days!

2011-04-26T17:47:00.000+08:00

Heya!

*sweat* Only 10 more days to Pipit Wonderful Market 6!!! I've been preparing really hard for it, and officially STOPPED making anything more for it yesterday.

Hahaha I think its just time to rest my hands and eyes, and DO some COSTING!

owh how I dislike maths...and costing!

Also I will be preparing for my 2nd mini project on spreading awareness. I have always wanted to spread awareness about other Learning Disabilities apart from Autism. This is because not many people have heard of Autism, but even more have no awareness of other Learning Disabilties which are "invisible".

I say that they are invisible because very often we won't or can't see that someone have special needs until we spend more time with them. Often someone with "invisible needs" behave differently and we pass on quick judgments without knowing that we are the ones who are ignorant.

Many children have been passed off to be "slow", "lazy", "out of control", "destructive" or "rebelious", when what we really need to do is stop "labelling" and try to understand that everyone learns differently, and everyone is trying their best.

So, here it is. This will probably be the cause that I will be bringing along with me to whatever event I join (if the organizer will be so kind to allow that). =D

Thanks to organizers of Pipit Wonderful Market 6, you can come over to my stall at the event on May 7th 2011.

You don't have to buy anything from my shop.

Yes, you don't have too!

All I ask for is that you:

1)come on over, show your support for awareness with your signature

2) pick up my little awareness leaflet

3)take a silver awareness ribbon pin from me, and wear it to show your support!

If you would like to read about my last mini awareness project, click HERE. Previously, I spoke to at least 25 people, and collected 25 signatures for Awareness of Autism. This time, I am putting up 50 silver Awareness Ribbon pins, and am hoping to collect 50 signatures! I know its double the amount, but I have HOPE!

PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT ASKING FOR DONATION IN ANY MONETARY FORM

just a minute of your time ^_^ which is priceless!

That's it! However, of course if you happen to fall in love with any of my handmades, I would be very much delighted for you to purchase them. (grin).

this is a little simple leaflet that I made because I couldn't find any available ones
I hope you come and collect yours, and keep it well!

So, I hope to see you, in person, whoever you may be on 7th May 2011, Saturday at the Annexe Gallery in Central Market. Come and join me in support for acceptance in Awareness of People with Learning Disabilities! Thanks in advance ^_^

My first Swap

2011-04-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Have you heard about craft swaps? I've always wanted to join one... and then I discovered SwapBot! It was so fun and exciting. I chose to participate in a swap called "I <3 Coasters", and we were each assigned 1 partner to whom we would send our crafts to. It was fun because when you got to know the person whom you are supposed to send to, you get to see their profile, about their interests, and what they like. And it was even more fun because it was an international swap!

My swap partner was a nice lady from Australia, who loved Christmas, and is even a member of "Christmas All year" club in Australia! How interesting is that? I've heard of Christmas in July, but I've never heard of celebrating Christmas all year, haha, must be really interesting.

So these were the coasters I made for her:

She mentioned she loved Poinsettias and was looking for a pattern, but I didn't have any, so I made a Poinsettia brooch for her.

All wrapped up and ready to go!

It was also a meaningful experience, making something with someone in mind.

My swap partner, who was assigned to send me coasters is a student from Finland. She made me these super cute owl coasters! That was because I stated in my profile that I liked owls. This is my first owl "thing" that I own! It's a decoupage cork coaster set of 6, and she made them even though she wasn't feeling well. Even more so, the swap only called for 4 coasters, but she made me six!

I really love them, especially the eyes, they all have different expressions!

And the polka dots! I can't say how much I LOVE polka-dots!!!

And she was so kind to include these cute stickers!

And I liked that she used a recycled envelope, and "up-cycled" it with cute piano key deco tape!

So that was my first swap experience. Would you join a swap? I would love to join another! But it will have to be after the Pipit Wonderful Market 6. As I am now preparing for the much anticipated event. I will post some pictures soon, of my latest creations that you will only be released at Pipit Wonderful Market. I'm really looking forward to it, Hope to see you there too!

Work in Progress 3

2011-04-19T09:19:00.000+08:00

It's 17days left to go before Pipit Wonderful Market!!!

Are you excited? I am, but I'm still psych-ing myself up for the event.

Here's another little peek of what I'm up to.

Wanna see my completed craft? See you at the Pipit Wonderful Market 6!

Have a great day!

2 pairs of new shoes

2011-04-18T11:53:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Here's a little happy carefree song for you, on a Monday. It used to be played on the radio while Shan Chung and I were still dating. He loved this song because it was funny and cute.

And, since I haven't got any new shoes since at least 3 years already, yesterday we went out and he got me 2 new pairs of shoes!

Actually he always wanted to get new shoes for me, since my old one is worn out, but I couldn't seem to find any that I liked (haha, yes, I'm picky). And I felt that the old pair could still be worn, so I didn't really want to get any new ones.

I would have just bought 1 pair, since I am really a minimalist (grin). But yesterday he insisted on 2 and didn't even give me a choice, and so here they are, my 2 pairs of new shoes haha,

The old pair on the right...meh, I shouldn't even need to tell you i guess? LOL

I called the pink pair "tinkerbell shoes" and the blue one "sailor shoes".
I know, it's weird to name shoes...but I always do it... (grin)

There, the "tinkerbell" shoes...can you imagine a fat and clumsy tinkerbell? Haha, if you can't perhaps you don't have to imagine, when you see me wearing them. Hmmmm,...Wonder how big my fairy wings will have to be...

Thanks, darling, for my new shoes ^_^ I love them!

Work in Progress 2

2011-04-14T11:56:00.000+08:00

Another Sneaky Peek... (grin)

Have a great day!

Work in Progress

2011-04-11T10:03:00.000+08:00

Hello Monday!

Yah, I know its Monday, so say something nice to the person next to you will ya? haha

It's about a month before the biggest event that I think I will participate in this year! Pipit Wonderful Market 6! I'm so nervous. But excited at the same time. There's gonna be so many well-known crafters there, and I am so nervous that my handmades won't meet the mark. Anyhow, I will put my heart and soul into it!

Here's a little sneak peak below...my works in progress.

I will be show-casing mainly my Signature Lace Collection, (I've been hard-working to expand the collection!) So be ready to feast your eyes on very feminine and unique jewelry and accessories. I haven't had time to take photos! Owh...how I dislike taking photos...I'd rather be making something else! (grin)

Evidently, I will be quite busy! So save the date will you? on the 7th of May 2011, and hop on by to pay me a visit! I am sure that it will be an experience to remember, a gathering of so many great crafters! Besides, come discover Malaysian talent, and SUPPORT HANDMADE!

(high five!)

So that's all for now, I gotta hop on back to thread and needle, pearls and beads and what not!

you MISSED it?!...nevermind, more stuff for ME! Muahahaha

2011-04-08T14:12:00.000+08:00

Hello Friday!

This is a really long overdue post! And hence, I better write about it before the week ends! tsk,tsk,tsk! The Supplies Surprise Bazaar organized by Beii of the Handmade Movement was Fantastic! It was a crafter's heaven! I repeat, HEAVEN! If you're a crafter and you didn't drop by for a visit this time, ...nevermind! I probably bought your share of supplies haha!

But be sure not to miss the next on which will be on the 2nd July 2010! Application for supply vendors are still open, this time with even more participants.

So, just to tell you how it went for me. I was really nervous while preparing for the bazaar day, I think I slept only 2 hours the night before the bazaar. I was so nervous about 3 main things:

1. Dunno how to communicate with people

2. Nobody buy my stuff

3. Scared about promoting my awareness booth

I shall not go on tallking about the Awareness project anymore in this post, you can read about it here.

When I arrived at BFree, I saw a big banner outside and adverts taped with japanese washi deco tapes, all the way to the elevator! I was so happy that the organiser had put up sufficient banners to promote the event!

As we entered the space for the bazaar, we were greeted by the lovely smiling, Beii! It definitely helped me feel less nervous. Although I was still VERY nervous. I tried to distract myself by putting up the items and arranging them on our allocated spot. When I was done, was the challenging part...

Task #1: go talk to other vendors and look around.

(you see that big Ikea Bag there? If I could I would have loved to hide in the bag)

stall setup

But it didn't turn out as bad, as all the vendors were really nice and friendly people and we soon started talking about the things we do...like hoarding fabrics, ribbons, buttons, and the likes (grins). It was a great experience indeed. And as we all started to know each other more, we couldn't help but agree that Beii, was a genius to think of holding the SUPPLIES SURPRISE bazaaar, which probably is the first of its kind in Malaysia?

The crowd started coming in by 12.30pm and was quite consistent until about 5pm. For such a cosy place to be frequently filled with people who actually bought stuff was very good, in my opinion. It's a pity I didn't take more photos of vendors and their stalls. Owh the yummy things they had to offer! I promise you, almost all of the products sold at the bazaar cannot be found in Malaysia. Japanese fabrics and papers, beautiful and unique charms, more beautiful fabrics, Korean yarn, cute buttons and not forgetting delicious looking polymer clay and yummy smelling handmade soaps!

It was definitely heaven to me!

As for our stall, we sold beads : acrylic, glass, lamp-work, czech, and semi-precious; charms, and findings; woodwork pieces, and wood deco. We didn't really make, much due to inexperience in pricing. I expected to make sales from the beads, but most sales came from the wood pieces instead! So what we concluded was that people either are not interested in buying beads to make their own jewelry, or that they don't know how to make their own jewelry. And of course not forgetting the inexperience for pricing.

woodwork pieces

Well we did make just enough and a little more to cover costs, but I think that the experience itself was priceless. At the end of the day, Shan Chung and I were saying that the picnic setting made it feel like we were on a mini date =) I can't agree more! Plus this fella soon became the center of attraction at our stall!

Pssst...Stay tuned, a surprise series will be released soon!
Be the first to know, simply because there will only come in limited and one of a kind quantities!

Adding to that, nothing could have replaced making new friends who have common passions for crafting and catching up with old friends who helped you along the way to get to where you are now.

It was really great to meet Pat again! This time with her whole new concept and her OWN crafts! She now makes handmade 100% all natural soaps! I love her new project and it is simply so sweet. You can visit her here.

I had fun collecting name cards, most of which are made in such creative ways!

After having seen alot of Akoe's handicrafts, we finally had the privillege of meeting her in person! So friendly and pretty! And she brought with her a collection of very affordable charms and jewelry findings, mostly in antique gold and antique silver color.

Had the pleasure of meeting Wing's Zakka, who sells so many super cute unique charms that I was half broke after leaving her stall! They have so many unique charms,.. have you seen a miniature sized globe on a stand, where the globe can actually be turned?! Owh you havent? Go see it on 2nd July! hehehe

Also met the sweet and friendly owner of Fabrics Fanatics! She really helped me let down my guard by her sincere friendliness! And I couldn't leave the bazaar whitout getting some fabric from her! Simply irresistable!

Next to her was Jaclynbee, who makes super beautiful miniature origami with her 'magic' fingers! (I'm convinced!) She sells all sorts of beautiful, imported genuine Washi/Yuzen papers from Japan. She also sell kits for you to make your own origami dolls. The patterns of the papers are a variety of traditional and playful themes. Truly delightful!

Tinypinc's sells miniature polymer clay charms, in shapes such as yummy rainbow layered cakes, Ice cream and pastries . This one is tinypinc's card, how cute!

It was also very delightful to meet the sweet, fun and bubbly Yin Lim of Craft Candies! Soon we found that we had very very fond memories of Australia...Lincraft and Spotlight to be precise!!! Reminiscing! Ahhhh..... buttons!Lavender! owhhhh....Can't wait to meet her again!

And My Favorite-test one is Pupurin's,

Pupurin is actually a division of Manmanku. Manmanku actually specialises in making quality girls clothes. Soon, owners PanPan and her boyfriend realised that there were many remnants and scraps of cloths left from making the dresses. Hence the beginning of Pupurin.

Pupurin is a concept of using up everybit of materials and not letting it go to waste. It is a concept that loves the earth and is constantly thinking of ways to make it a better place. Pupurin sells trimmed remnants of quality cotton cloths. These come in different sizes, and many of the prints can't be found locally. They also sell a crafts kit with instructions, template and all materials included. The objective of the kit is to encourage even young children to learn and make crafts, and also to learn that even small things can be made into things (don't waste). I really love their concept! You should hop on over to Panpan's blog to see what they're up to!

So, when we got home:

The damage.....hahaha

These were the 'spoils' of the day! Cute Fabric from Fabric Fanatics!, Lovely heart shaped toggle clasp from Akoe, pretty washi paper stickers from Jaclynbee, Gorgeous Eiffle tower, camera and ribbon bow from Wing's Zakka, and very special buttons from Sally's BagNCraft. Lovely invigorating soap from Lullabelle, cotton tapes from the very kawaii owner of Kawaii Station!

Final words?

I Loved the Bazaar!!!!

P/S...the buttons....belong to mr.Cheng! hahahaha! (tease!) He's still very very manly! I promise!!!

My Mini Project

2011-04-07T01:05:00.001+08:00

Good Evening!

This is my first late night post. If you've read my previous post, you would know that I tried to set up a small awareness corner at my stall at the Supplies Surprise Bazaar (a very delightful bazaar indeed!).

I announced just 2-3 days before the bazaar that I would be setting up this activity where anyone who came wearing BLUE and signed the Autism Awareness pledge, would receive a free mystery gift. This was in conjunction with the Light it Up Blue campaign organised by the Autism Speaks Org. Not to mention the perfect coincidence that the bazaar was held on the very day of Autism Awareness Day (2nd April). Beii, the organizer of the bazaar and also the owner of The Handmade Movement had kindly allowed me to carry out my last minute project! So very kind!

The setup

It was very challenging for me, since I'm really nervous to meet strangers and even worse that I have to talk to them! To go to the bazaar itself was a very big challenge for me, because it involved getting out of the house and meeting or talking to people.

However, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Many people were kind enough to listen to what I had to say when I approached them. I thought that I'd just write a short "report" or summary of my mini project.

The Signing Sheet

Unofficial statistics:

1. I managed to get 25 people to sign the pledge. Which also means that I gave out about the

same amount of fact sheets.

2. Out of the 25 people, at least 10 have a relative, family member or friend's child who has

Autism.

3. Another 10 have heard of Autism but do not really know what it is.

4. The remaining 5people have never heard of Autism.

5. All the people whom I approached were receptive and allowed me a few minutes of their time.

6. All the people whom I approached readily signed the pledge once they knew what it was

about.

7. Half of the people were very surprised that all they had to do was sign. Most of them expected

for me to ask for donations.

(which is very sad because it reflects the Malaysian scene of Charity being misused. In other

words, charity is equated with money. This is not true, spreading information, giving time and

understanding is worth much more than money)

8. Blue seems to be a popular choice when it comes to clothing (haha) since many people who
had no idea about my mini project turned up wearing BLUE! (just a fun fact)

In retrospect, I can say that when I started getting positive feedback, after collecting a few signatures and handing out fact sheets; I felt that even if I didn't make a single sale, those signatures where well worth the while, and they were priceless.

I am even considering making this a regular thing for each event that I take part in (hopefully with the permission of the organiser). Even while I was working with these children, I have always wanted to do something like this, but as we all know, there is always so little time and so much to do. So here I am, starting something small, hoping that this small spark will light a small light to bring a small hope.

The Mystery Gift that I had to whip out in the last minute!

Awareness of Autism and also Other Learning Differences are causes that are very very close to my heart. Even more because these are "invisible" disabilities, makes it even more difficult for people to understand them. I still believe that awareness is the key. If we understand them and accept them for who they are, we would be the cure. I can't save the world, but I hope that awareness will help make life more meaningful and kinder to those affected by this challenge. Everyone is beautiful. Although we may be different on the outside, we are all the same on the "inside".

So, what do you think? Will you join me?

!!!DISCLAIMER: newsong© Handmade Goods/Myself, will NEVER ask for DONATION on the behalf of ANY organisation!!!

Wear BlueOn 2nd April

2011-03-31T09:32:00.000+08:00

Hello!

This is something that I wanted to do for a very long time. To spread awareness about autism and other learning differences. These are the issues that are very close to my heart, since I have previously been involved in teaching children with special needs.

It seems like a very good and surprising coincidence that the Supplies Surprise Bazzaar organised by The Handmade Movement falls exactly on the 2nd of April! I've signed up as a vendor to sell some of my jewelry supplies (check them out here). The core organiser, BeiiLiVoon has so kindly granted me permission to hold this mini pledge corner, and even supported by spreading the word on Facebook! Thanks, LiVoon! So, I am taking this opportunity to spread awareness at my stall.

This year Autism Speaks Org. is organinsing a global event called Light it up Blue for Autism. So what you need to do wherever you are, is to wear blue, put a blue light on your porch or even your shop. Go to this link to see what people around the world are doing to show support to raise awareness of Autism.

I can't do very much, since i don't own a building or a porch (I live in a flat).

But I will wear Blue at the Supplies Surprise Bazaar, and I will be setting up a pledge corner where you can come and sign a pledge to spread awareness and learn more about Autism and People with other Learning Differences. If you come dressed in BLUE, and sign the pledge at my booth, you'll receive a Mystery Gift from Newsong, but only while sticks lasts.

If you aren't coming to the bazaar, you can still show your support by wearing Blue on 2nd April, or signing the Online Pledge at Autism Speaks.

To those who are coming to the Bazaar, see you soon! To those who aren't, you can make a difference!Find out more about Autism :
What is Autism?
Facts About Autism
Living with Autism
or you can read my 2cents worth about Autism

"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Mahatma Ghandhi-

Busy Busy Busy!

2011-03-23T10:03:00.001+08:00

I haven't been updating my blogshop! And I know there's no good excuse, but really I am busy with 3 main projects at the moment.

First off, I have been preparing for the Supplies Surprise Bazaar on 2nd April 2011. Do come and check it out, as I am confident there will be many unique supplies that can;t be found locally. When I see the promotional pictures and the vendors, I thought to myself.. "Oh ou,...I'm gonna be so tempted to spend money there!"

(click HERE for directions to the venue)

I will be selling an assortment of jewelry findings, semi-precious stone beads,

Imported Lamp-work glass beads, hand-painted glass beads,

Imported Czech pressed glass beads,and some wooden pieces for Folk Art Painting!

I also want to take this opportunity to commend LVBeii for setting up The Handmade Movement,

which I feel has been something that our community have been waiting for. It is not easy to pull off something like this, and finally someone like her has got the courage to start it! If you are not familiar with the Handmade Movement, it is somewhat like a craft or artist guild! I think the first of its kind in Malaysia? To find out more, Please visit The Handmade Movement, and join the Facebook page for cool updates on classes and reviews! Support your local handmade artists!

As for the second project, I can't reveal very much yet, but to say that I have had the opportunity to work with a wonderful young lady and will be part of something happening in Farenheit 88. It will be soon, and I will spill the beans when the time comes =D

Lastly, I am preparing myself, in terms of craftmaking and psyche, for the Pipit Wonderful Market 6! on 7th MAY 2011, at the Annexe Central Market. Wow, I'm so honored to be able to be part of it this time! I tried to participate a few times before, but the slots are always full so quickly! I'm excited, but nervous too, because I see so many vendors that make such beautiful and unique crafts... much nicer than mine ! You can view the photos of the previous Wonderful Markets here.

But I suppose it will be a good experience and Exposure too. In conjunction with that, I will also be renting a slot in Pipit Zakka Store!

So, starting May 2011, you will be able to find Newsong Handmade Goods in Pipit Zakka Store! Do go check out the store! And also join their FB page to get info of the latest goodies in the store! It is very cozy creative space in which there are endless beautiful and inspiring pieces to feast your eyes on. And what's even better? The entire shop is filled with Handmade goods from artists and crafters from all over Malaysia! Do go check it out!

So, there it is. My busy and somewhat nerve-wrecking and anxious but exciting life these past month. Shan Chung has been so supportive and calm, I don't know what will happen without him. I'd probably end up with ugly hair as a result of pulling my hair out of my head! Haha!

I hope you have a Great Day!

and SUPPORT HANDMADE! =)

FOR JAPAN

2011-03-17T08:33:00.006+08:00

Newsong would like to put up craft kits for sale, where 100% of proceeds will go to MALAYSIAN RED CRESCENT DISASTER RESPONSE IN JAPAN.

CRAFT Kits that I have in mind are

1) DIY Paper Crane mobile or

2)DIY Granny Square Kit

(which you can make and send to Crochet a Rainbow;

a project collecting donations of granny squares to

make blankets for Australian flood victims,

and NZ and Japan earthquake victims)

(this image is available as a poster by

By W+K Studio, All proceeds go to Japan.

A Decade!

2011-03-14T11:29:00.000+08:00

14th of March, 2001, we were officially allowed to date as a couple ^_^.

It's been 10 whole years, now, of making memories together!

(this is a memory quilt that I made while we were apart, him studying abroad, and me still studying in KL)

I love every bit of our journey, and I just want to say that I love you with all my heart!

This is the song that never made sense to me..until he stole my heart ^_^

May the Lord Bless us and keep us as we grow old together

and love each other more each day !

I love you!

In MY Bubble

2011-03-08T10:12:00.000+08:00

No, I haven't been well the past month...probably triggered by the Festive seasons and the self-expectations that came with it.

I made some commitments to some people,

to sit in in training sessions, to acclimatise myself to work again,

to go in to SPICES every Monday

to teach a sweet young lady how to knit a scarf....

But I wasn't able to do all that. I don't want to be 'touched'. I need to be in MY bubble. Don't come near...in case you burst the bubble...Right now I just want to hide, in MY bubble and I have a feeling that I'll go berserk if the bubble breaks o_0.

My good Doctor always says that I should converse in "thought' (facts and logic) rather than "feelings" (metaphorical blah). But I don't think I'm in a bubble,..I just feel like I'm in a bubble. That makes a whole lot of difference. Screw the "Think" part for now... the function of WORDS for me has always had other uses other than conveying facts and logic. It is also figurative...to express what can't be seen.... He always doesn't get it when I say "I feel lost". He says 'lost' is not a 'feeling'...he confuses me. Hasn't he got lost or separated from his [parents in the mall or something when he was a kid? Not knowing where to go or what to do but cry? To feel abandoned and alone? That sums up to feeling 'lost " don't you think? blahs..

If all of those things I've said so far doesn't make sense at all. The following pictures might help you relate. Apple, our Pekingese happened to show me exactly how I felt.... (oh, the comfort of another soul who understands your heart without needing to say a word!)

"I'm hiding under there...do not disturb"

"Okay, don't come any closer now..."

"Yes, I'm sad and I'm not okay..."

So just let me be for awhile, okay?

30 things

2011-02-10T09:16:00.000+08:00

30 things i love about you

#30 waking up next to you

#29 cuddling under your armpit when I sleep LOL

#28 when you talk funny because you're tired

#27 when you kiss me good morning

#26 your cheeky smile when you're up to something

#25 the way you trick me into believing some ridiculous facts

#24 when you fall for my silly tricks instead

(like people giving me RM5 note into my helmet while waiting for you)

#23 when you try to look serious and try even harder not to laugh

#22 how you hug me tight when I need to cry

#21 how you're so protective over me

#20 when we get caught in the rain while we're on the bike,

me hiding behind you to keep warm

#19 when you want to surprise me but can't wait to tell me what you're going to do

(and tell me after all) LOL

#18 looking at your eyes when you're asleep

#17 disturbing you when you try to sleep, but I'm still wide awake

#16 for being a brave man, and a responsible one too

#15 for listening to me when I ask question after question of things that don't need an answer

#14 how you support me and believe in the things I do

#13 going for grocery shopping and doing 'circus acts' on our faithful 'kap-chai'

(with me at the back, one hand holding a package of toilet paper and the other holding a bag of detergents etc.)

#12 how your face lights up and you smile like a child
when you've done something hilarious

#11 when we went for the Rugby game in Perth
(Wallabies vs. Springboks) and had our faces painted in Springbok colors

#10 when you buy flowers home for me, often for no particular reason

#9 for taking time off to go to my doctor's appointments with me

#8 when we cook delicious food together

#7 when you 'channel-surf' in an attempt to give me epilepsy

#6 how you lie about the time and say its 2 o'clock
when it's only just 1.30

#5 how we have our special language

#4 how you remember all the special dates we have

#3 how curious you can be

#2 for the many ways you never fail to make me laugh every day!

#1 for loving me inspite of myself, unconditionally, through the rough roads that we've been through, for loving me when I can't do as much as I used to, and for being who you are

I know you don't really like celebrating especially this time round,
but having you is the best thing in my life.

Your Birthday will always mean a lot to me.

I don't want diamond rings, fast cars or a big house, or even a life of luxury...

because everything would be nothing at all,

If I ain't got you...

Happy Birthday,

I love you!

Granny Squares!!!

2011-02-09T09:28:00.000+08:00

I recently participated in Crochet a Rainbow, organized by Sarah London, in an effort to give some warmth to flood victims in Australia. All you need to do, is make as many granny squares as you'd like, and send them over to Sarah. Wanna join? Details here.

Don't worry if you're a beginner or wan to start learning crochet. Granny squares are easy to make and Sarah has made a step by step tutorial for you to follow.

So, here are my Granny Squares, heading Down Under soon!

There you go! My humble 26 Granny Squares!

Also, the project is on for the whole of 2011!

Have a Fantastic Day!

Happy Chinese New Year

2011-02-01T23:29:00.001+08:00

Hello!

Wishing You a Blessed Chinese New Year,

be safe on the road, and spend good memorable times with family!

I'll be on blog-vacation *grin* till next Monday!

see ya!

But I'll try to post some things I've been up to, here at my blog.
So where are you heading this Chinese New Year?

Nobody can save the world

2011-01-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

But we can do little things to make good changes one step at a time, right?

This is sort of an impromptu post since I can't wait to share this with all of you after reading a post via meet me at Mikes.

Well, I know that many people will say that Malaysia too has its needs, why not do something for Malaysia before helping other countries? Well, I want to learn, and by participating, hopefully we'll learn the ways how to raise funds for our own country's needs.

This made me feel excited, how crafting can give hope and comfort. And how people all around the world will be able to send their love to the folks in Australia.

This will be my first attempt in participating an event like this.

Care to join me? Its really easy, just crochet simple granny squares, send them to Ausie, where they will piece the squares together, to make quilts and send them off to flood victims!

Stay tuned if you wanna see my bit of granny crochet! I'll be doing this instead for Valentines, Woo hoo!

Click the image to link to the official page, FAQ's and Tutorials for Granny Squares are all provided!

Love the Idea? Share it and pass it along!

All about the lines

2011-01-28T08:35:00.009+08:00

If you've been following my writing, I did mention that my psychiatrist made new discoveries about my condition. Altogether it has been close to 12 years of eating medication and going for appointments at hospital.

I really dislike hospitals, and I dislike being talked to by a Psychiatrist...he forgets that I'm a Psych. Major, and keeps repeating things that I already know. It's almost like PSY101 everytime I see him. Sometimes, I finish his sentences for him and he says "that's very clever!" *speechless* Once, we had this exchange:

Doc: People who have depression usually have?

Me:..dysfunctional thoughts... (arrgghhh)

Doc: and they have these dysfunctional thoughts because?

Me: ...they have depression.....(pfffffhhhtt)

Doc: You have dysfunctional thoughts because?

me: I have depression (apalah deiii!!!!)

Try replacing the words Depression with Fever and Dysfunctional thoughts with high temperature, in a clinic setting.

Doc: People who have Fever usually have?

Patient:..high temperature...

Doc: and they have high temperature because?

Patient: ...they have Fever.....

Doc: You have high temperature because?

Patient: I have Fever

Of course I know I have dysfunctional thoughts and Depression, it's been 12 years la...

But then again, sometimes I think that he may be saying things this way for his interns, who are in the room learning from him, in which I am supposed to pretend that all 10 of them are invisible.

But he's not all that bad. He means well and he tries his best. And these past years he says, he's been quite puzzled by my depression. Common Major Depressive Disorders usually pick up and gets back to normal with the help of medication and therapy. But my case was different. He recently attended a world conference and there was a paper presented about my "type" of depression. About 77 subjects took part in this research, which showed that a new kind of depressive disorder may be discovered.

Basically, as the graph shows, below, Depressive Disorders generally fall into 2 main types, which are Bipolar/Mania/Manic Depression and Unipolar/Major Depression. Of course there are other types of depression; SAD, Post-Natal, etc. but I will spare you from a lecture >.<

So, according to Doc. My graph pattern is like a Unipolar Depressive, with Bipolar. Which made me ask : "How can I be bipolar if I don't have Mania Episodes?" And he goes "that's a very clever question!" =.=

He explains that my graph is like a wave as of the Bipolar graph, but over time, I get well, to the 'normal' bar, but have recurrent episodes of depression over time.

Knowing this really helped me a lot. It helped me to know what to expect. That if I fall into depression again, its okay, and I just have to climb back up at my own pace. And just because I am at the normal bar, I shouldn't take for granted that I am 'cured', but learn to pace myself and treasure the time which I am able to function normally. I also learn to prolong the length of normal times and learn about what knocks me down and how to pick myself up.

They don't really have a name for it yet, this "uni-bipolar" thing. But knowing how I function is more than enough for me at the moment.

So, because of this, I try not to make any 'long-term" promises. Because I would like to do certain things and may agree today to do it, but when the time comes to do it, (say, maybe next month), I may be unwell, and it will ruin other people's plans and make them disappointed. So I try to make shorter goals for myself, taking baby steps.

For all those people who have stuck with me through all this, being understanding and patient to me, although I'm sure I've let you down countless times, THANK YOU for your love.

And most of all, to my wonderful husband, a gift from heaven, for putting up with me through all the mess, the sleepless, tearful nights, the worrying, and anxiety, I have no idea what I did to deserve you. It is not an easy task to care for me, I know. Or anyone with sickness like me. It can be very stressful and draining. But STILL you are by my side, and I thank God for you each day!

For those of you out ther who are fighting similar battles,

God is always near you and you are precious to Him.

We may not understand, but we can try to trust.

Pink and I

2011-01-27T08:20:00.003+08:00

If you've kept up with the fashion and design world, you would know that PANTONE has officially announced PINK as the color of the year. I didn't even know they have this, really, until someone on my Facebook announced it. So, to be specific, the 'IN' color is PINK-Honeysuckle 18-2120. DO you follow fashion trends?

Well,...I have to confess that I don't. I think people who know me in real person will concur vehemently. In reality, I'm sort of a 'plain jane'. Don't get me wrong, I love colors and pretty things, but I just can't convince myself that it will look good on myself. The only time you'll see me dressed up and made up = dinners, anniversaries, and dates with SC.

I do try...but generally, i won't go fill my wardrobe with pink stuff or skinny jeans etc. Well, maybe there's also a little rebel in me that won't go with the crowd; like wearing bright orange (road construction orange cone, orange) jacket to school, and a florescent green backpack.

Haha, anyways, since I knew about Pink being the color of the year, I started to remember some Pink things in my life.

When I was little, my Godparents in Singapore would send me presents once in a while, and I particularly remember receiving a kid-sized pink umbrella. I never really got the chance to use it for rainy days...since obviously i wouldn't be allowed to go in the rain when I was a child. But I remember frequently parading it around the house. Haha. Owh, and it had a tiny pink toy train charm hanging at the handle. I loved it!

My very first purse/wallet was a pink Hello Kitty vinyl purse. I used it throughout primary school and had to throw it away when I was in Standard 6 due to wear and tear.

I would forgive you anytime if you didn't believe I learnt ballet. I can picture me+ballet right now, would equal to a fat dancing elephant with a tutu and ballet shoes. Haha! But yes, I did go for ballet classes when I was little. My mom thought that it would make me girly and ladylike...until she saw the way I walked! If you know ballet, you are trained to walk and stand with your feet facing outward (heels inward). My mom was horrified, and said that I started to walk like a duck! And hence, no more ballet. Not that I really minded. Ha!

I have always loved strawberries, up till now. Whether its food, or pictures or ornaments, I love them =D

And who can resist a Strawberry milkshake right? Or strawberry Ice cream? Or Strawberry Shortcake?

Well I definitely can't!

I can't find the exact picture of my shoes, but it looks kinda like the picture above. SC bought me this pair of shoes when we were in Australia studying. I really loved it when I first saw it, but wouldn't want to spend money on myself. Each time we passed by that shop, I would go in just to have a little peek at it.

(Thats what I usually do when I like something, but can't decide to buy or not >.< )

Then one day, SC gave me a paper bag, with the shoes inside!

I called them my 'bubblegum" shoes. I don't exactly know why, but it was pink, and it felt like "bubblegum" to me. They are gone now...cos of old age... =( But will always remain a sweet memory.

This is the first present that SC gave me when we started dating. She's called Petunia...cos the label said so =p She's also a sweet memory, and she's still here ^_^

And finally, the best for last!

P!NK is a classic favorite of mine. We share the same birthday! And my ex-schoolmates and I practically listened to her through high school, till now. All her songs brings back particular memories for me, like "don't let me get me" and "stupid girls"...I don't mean to offend anyone, but I seriously share the same sentiments!

Even the recent songs, I can always identify with her lyrics "please don't leave me". I like her because of her guts to be honest about things too "Dear Mr. President". And most of all cos she's eccentric and doesn't go with the whole glam and fame thing. She's got her own style and she's comfortable being herself "raise your glass". I guess that part of her, would be my Alter Ego! Haha.

So here we go, that's a few things you've learnt about me =D

(prolly should thank PANTONE this year...haha)

If you feel like a square peg in a round world most of the time like I do, This one's for you!

Cheers!

Reflections on 2010

2011-01-05T10:05:00.016+08:00

I'm not really a fan of making new year resolutions. Why? I don't know, maybe because it's scary. If I make one and I can't keep it, I'll just dump it.

And it's so unpredictable what will happen, and so I am afraid to make promises, since I don't like people to go back on their words either. But I do alot of reflecting. Yah, I know, sometimes too much, but that's just how I function. Reflecting deals with facts, things that already happened...but resolutions are not YET facts...which poses a problem to me.

Maybe mini-sized resolutions are easier for me, like going for a walk this week, or going for luch with Dawn next week. Something like that.

So, Instead of making New Year's resolutions, I do reflections about the past year, and this year I'd like to count down to 10 most significant things that happened in my life. So here goes,

I learnt new things about my Depression, and came up with some sort of strategy to deal with it. I also discovered some unpleasant things about my past, that I have never dared to admit. I have accepted it, although it is still disturbing sometimes, but acknowledging that it happened has really helped me move on.

I started going back to Church. At one point it was really hard for me to go because I felt guilty that I no longer work in the SPICES (Support for Parents, Infants and Children through Early Intervention and Services) ministry. It was very tough for me. I was afraid, afraid of people, and couldn't cope when they started to come to me and ask me "How are you?". That is a bad question, at least to me. Because I can't say I'm fine, cause I'm not, but I don't think they want to hear the truth either. And I can't tell which people really want to know and who doesn't.

So what made me go back to Church?

The fact that going to Church is about GOD. Not about me being afraid of people. Although I still sneak into church service a little late and sneak off as soon as they announce the service is over, I think its a good start?

Apple (our pekingese dog) came to live with us in our flat. It was supposed to be a gift for my mom, but she couldn't keep up with all the things that had to be done to care for Apple. Plus her house is a 2-storey one, and alot more difficult to clean, especially with fur balls floating around.

So, Apple has brought alot of laughter to our small little home. In a way, she provided me with some sort of routine, because she needed to be combed everyday and she loves to play. At first I found her to be sort of an intrusion into my personal space because I was getting more and more used to being alone (with the exception of Shan Chung). But I think she helped me accept the presence of others easier now.

With alot of encouragement from Shan Chung, I finally registered my blogshop, Newsong as an official handmade crafts business. For now at least, it gives me a sort of routine and stability or purpose while I try to get well enough to work outside again. It's sort of my little project.

I actually have schedules to follow and deadlines to meet, so I guess it's a kind of progress for me.

Here, I would like to take the opportunity to say that my heart is still very much at SPICES. Its always on my mind, and I hope all this routines and structure will lead me back to working with people with learning differences.

It's been at least a year or two since I could accept anyone's presence in our home (of course with exception to my parents). It feels like intrusion and sort of makes me nervous and threatened, and I would have a meltdown. But this year, I had a few good friends into our home, just to chat for a short while, and this Christmas my in-laws all came to our house for dinner!!! I must admit that I was a little nervous really, but it turned out fine.

I learned about my past mistakes in overlooking what I already had in my 'hands'. Things that were precious. I didn't spend the time and attention to cultivate those precious things I had. Instead I was always trying to hang on to people who don't even care, thinking about the things that could be. All this at the expense of losing all the good things that I already had. SO, I decided that I'm not going to repeat this mistake again. I shall treasure every little good thing that God has put in my hands, like my husband, my crafts, my true friends, family, etc.

It has always been difficult for me to accept my craft-making as service to GOD. Since I had once served in a ministry, I felt that crafting...what kind of benefit could it offer to society? It is not helping anyone, as opposed to my previous job. And while I was working back then, I did not understand why others who are working in the corporate world would not just leave their work and serve full-time since the need is so great. How arrogant of me! During the past year, I have been humbled to accept that whatever God puts in your hands at anytime, use it and do it with all your heart, and that in itself is a service to God. Does He only use those who are in the front-line? I think God doesn't think in a box like that do you? It was me and my pride that made me feel self worth. Now, I just have to be contented with what He has given me at this time...Newsong.

There was a point when I thought that since I wasn't working in SPICES anymore, I have been forgotten. I wasn't on the prayer list anymore, and the first time I saw my name excluded, I actually cried and had to go home in the middle of church service when they were doing communal prayer. Since then, it was hard for me to still believe that people cared about me, I almost felt 'erased' the moment I stopped working in SPICES. But through the past year, God has encouraged me through a few people whom I never even knew cared about me. I found love in their sincere concerns and care. They were the ones who never asked me "How are you?" but just held my hand when they saw me, and prayed for me at home.

My medication cost increased because of two reasons, one being that the Doctor added a new type of medication for my treatment, and the other being that certain medicines were no longer subsidized by the hospital. This was a great cause of worry to us, since Shan Chung was the only one working and receiving steady income. However, God never failed to provide. We do not know who those people were who had a burden to help us with little gifts now and then. They have remained anonymous. But we are really thankful to these people who have given us the support we needed.

Finally, unexpectedly, in the past year I have discovered new friends with whom I can share my journey with. Friends who understand the struggles SC and I face. Friends who will walk the journey with us. I never thought anyone would want to be friends with such a 'messed up ' and 'complicated' person like me... but there are Angels that God sends along our path, though it may be filled with potholes here and there, now and again.

If you have read through this far, thanks for reading my really loooooong post!

And,

Full Attendance!

2010-12-30T07:11:00.002+08:00

How did your Christmas go?

Well, for us, we had a quiet, cozy one with both our families!

This was a last minute arrangement really, to have gingerbread men

and marshmallows with Hot Chocolate...

I'm gonna plan to make my own gingerbread next year!

Us with our tree!

My parents and us! Finally after so many years, we could celebrate Christmas Eve together!

My parents work with the Church, and being a Pastor, its difficult to spend exclusively with family. But this year we had a quiet and cozy gathering! So happy!

Our little supper.

And on the 25th, we had dinner with Shan Chung's family (my family also la)

We made Pasta and Postato Salad and Green Salad, and Mum brought duck, and Kang (2nd brother in law) brought wine and a delightful girlfriend (tease). We had fun, squeezing 7 people in our tiny house! Boy, did Apple have fun! Running around after everyone, and getting so much attention from everyone. It's no wonder she woke up groggy the next day!

So, this year, I'd say that the best Christmas's are ones that were spent with family!

Yay!!!

2010-12-24T11:19:00.005+08:00

Yay!!! Newsong is now a registered business! Shan Chung took leave today to bring me to the SSM, companies registration center. Thanks to Pei Yee from Keller Homemades, she gave us really clear instructions of the entire process, it was really exciting!

*confession: I just LOVE filling up forms...yah, silly, but i just DO!

We were half an hour early, so we decided to get a bite...

Yums!

it wasn't me... (ok, yeah...but its cause for celebration rite?!)

Owh and before I go, I recommend you drop by Pei Yee's. She's made this cute pocket calendar for you to download!

Have a Happy 24th Dec! Don't forget to stay up late for countdown!

And most of all, Jesus loves you, and that's why there is Christmas!

New Traditions

2010-12-23T21:59:00.003+08:00

Last year, around Christmas time, I read a post from Amy on The Idea Room. She has a family tradition since her childhood that every year, her each of her family would get an ornament, resembling something significant that happened that year. I think that its such an awesome idea, don't you think so?(She tells it more interestingly here, go read!)

So this year, Shan Chung and I decided to begin this tradition. Although there's just the two of us, I'm sure when we look back 10 years from now, there would be many memories and things to be thankful for!

So, this is what he made...

because he learnt how to sew plushies this year!

(look at the details, doesn't it look like him?)

few strands of hair, cheeky smile, how can you not smile when you see this bear! LOL

and final touch...a heart on the behind >.<

And, this is what I made...

A simple hand motif with a heart in it

This is because I learnt a very important thing almost toward the very end of this year. There was a particular entry in OurDailyBread on the 29thNov. entitled What's In Your Hand by Dennis Fisher

So the Lord said to [Moses], “What is that in your hand?” —Exodus 4:2

I have good things and precious thing in my hands.

I have a loving husband, a lovely doggie, loving family, including in-laws, a home that is cozy, my own hands, my crafts etc... the list goes on!

And I have to hold them and be thankful for them instead of trying to look for things that I don't have.

So, What do you have in your hands?

Shan Chung and I would like to wish everyone a Blessed Christmas, filled with love and good company, and most of all to remember the significance of God's unending love for us!

Blinking Lights and Memories

2010-12-21T12:50:00.002+08:00

Hello Tuesday!

Yesterday, SC and I put up our Christmas Tree, finally!

We just bought it last year, and this is the second time we set it up again.

It was fun, although it was just the two of us ^_^

It was a new experience for Apple (our Pekingese) though as usual, she was curious but scared at the same time!

We don't really have much to put on our tree, but most of them are really cute felt plushies handmade by my mom ^_^, and other odd bits and pieces like a giant button, ribbons and plastic baubles from before I got married.

But this little one below is still my favorite! My first little Unazukin! I'm always a sucker for cute things... SC says I always get attracted to things that are intended to entice kids >.<

But this was one of those times when he would play along with me and join in my childishness. We paid RM8 to twist a Japanese "egg surprise" kind of machine to get her. And I was happy as a kid! (Ekhemm...we did go a few more times,...and got other patterns too, will take photos next time!)

So, today marks the first day that SC is going to turn on the blinking Christmas Lights first thing in the morning,...turn it off right before he goes to work. Then Turn it on after dinner, and sit and stare at the lights, and turn it off again before he goes into the room. Yeah, it will happen everyday, until we take the tree down...just like last year. Hahaha, that's one of the many reasons I love him so!

The "D" word

2010-12-09T08:44:00.003+08:00

I was diagnosed with Severe Major Depressive Disorder when I was 19. At that time, I was in college and was doing really well, until one day, I just couldn't concentrate. I knew the lecturer was talking, since i hear sounds and her mouth was moving. But I could not listen or understand what she was saying. Things weren't going very well at home or socially. Soon, I stopped going to college because I couldn't take care of myself even for simple, basic things, like personal hygiene or eating.

It was at this point in time that close family friends recommended my parents to bring me to a psychiatrist. During the consultation, the psychiatrist asked me a lot of questions, especially about my past. It wasn't really a smooth sailing past. At the end of the session, she diagnosed me as having Severe Major Depression, with childhood onset. This meant that I had depression since I was a child. However, it became full blown at 19.

So, since I was 19, I have been taking lots of medication to help me cope with my condition.

Some people don't understand what depression is. They tell you to be positive and you will get well. They tell you not to 'indulge' in your sad feelings. When people say things like this, they do not realize how much it frustrates and hurts people who have depression. It is not something that we choose to have, or "indulge" in. (I get really mad when people say "indulge", because if it is so indulging, I would very much like to give it to them, because I don't want 'this' kind of 'indulgence"...no depressed person wants this 'indulgence' and it is not an indulgence at all to have depression.)

“People who don’t know [what depression is], who say it’s self-indulgence, sound callous, but it’s not callousness born of indifference; I think it’s callousness born of ignorance. That kind of ignorance we’ve got to get rid of, and little by little I suppose, we will. You say to them, ‘It’s a pity you don’t know. I’m sure that if you knew, I’m sure that if you knew, not only wouldn’t you say that, you’d try to help in one way or another.”- Mike Wallace, On the Edge of Darkness

How it feels like for me is that my depressive condition is sometimes like my shadow. I try to shake it off my back but it wont go away. So I try to learn to live with it. I used to think that it was as easy as a decision to get well. But now I realize that it doesn't happen that way. I can't just decide not to be depressed, but I can decide how to deal with it.

Having a depressive disorder is not the same as being depressed(sad).

"Sadness is a transient feeling that passes as a person comes to term with his troubles. Depression can linger for weeks, months or even years. The sad person feels bad, but continues to cope with living. A person with clinical depression may feel overwhelmed and hopeless." Nancy Schimeldfening, About.com

I write this for those who are similar to myself, and also to others so that we may be aware and not ignorant about this very 'real' illness.

Below are some resources and facts that might be useful:

Also, here is a free online pro gramme that provides resources for coping with depression. It also has a simple test to identify whether you may need to seek professional help.

THE MOOD GYM

*frankly, I really dislike doing the activities for MOOD GYM,

but I have to admit that some of it makes sense.

I think at the end you still need to decide what is relevant for you and what's not.

To those who are facing somewhat similar conditions as myself, know that God sees and knows your pain, and He loves you. Sometimes, I find it hard to accept too, but I have to at least believe this fact.

MINT

2010-12-01T09:40:00.002+08:00

Wonderful photos by Flickr members, click the links below to go to original pages

1.CUBA 2. GREEN MILLINERY 3. MINT CHOCOLATE MERINGUES 4.SPARKLEY GREEN DREAMCATCHER

Tissues

2010-11-29T18:32:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it hurts so bad inside, but i can't put it in words or i can't say it out loud (as has been the case these couple of days),.... It grows bigger and biggerr inside me and I feel like i need to get it all out before I explode. And still, the words won't come, so i let the tears do the talking. And after that, it always feels a little better, especially when I have a soft and cuddly shoulder to cry on.

So, thank God for tissues!

Want to know more about how tissue was invented?

READ about the almighty KLEENEX

How about how toilet papers are made?

(did you know that the French used lace?!!! OMG!)

Getting Real

2010-11-22T19:48:00.002+08:00

I set up this blog with the optimistic purpose of putting nice, fun and happy things in it as a way of helping me cope with my depression. But I have been struggling this past year. There have been many long spells of no writing at all on my blog. That's because those were the times when I really can't think of something happy to write about. And if I'm sad, I can't pretend to be happy and write some happy stuff hoping that I'll get happy. It just doesn't work that way for me.

So, it did take a long time for me to come to terms that its "okay" to write about sad things in my blog too. Since, life really isn't always only about chocolate and sweets, but also about banana skins and more banana skins and other "sucky" stuff that happen to you,..well I figured it was time for me to 'get real'.

Approximately one year ago, I made a decision to sing a 'new song', to invite you to join me in this journey. I think it wouldn't be a real journey if it didn't have potholes and detours of its own right? So, there is change ahead in the contents of my blog, I will try to be as honest, truthful and REAL as I can.

SURPRISE!!!

2010-11-15T09:05:00.001+08:00

Snow in Color

Last Christmas, I launched my snowflake collection (which is currently still available throughout the year) and thanks to all your awesome feedback, it was really a great (and snowballing) experience for me, hahaha. The best present a crafter can get is for people to love what they have created. And I sincerely thank you for that!

If you haven't noticed, the concept of this series is based on four colors PURPLE, YELLOW, BLUE and PINK, each representing a stage in life's journey. But there's really a story to this one, So here it goes:

The Dream

One of the requests that have arisen was to have "colorful" snowflakes, which didn't make sense to me in the first place... =) But more and more of you asked the same question :

"Err... do you have it in different colors other than white?"

(with some sort of silly look in their faces)

"I know, snowflakes are supposed to be white, but do you make different colors?"

And I would say that I don't make any other colors. Firstly, it didn't 'occur' to me to make any other color than white? But more importantly because the supplier for the cotton yarn I used did not sell colors other than white, black and beige. I tried making some snowflakes using other types of 'string', but it did not satisfy my standards.

The Hope

So, I contacted every known supplier in KL, or Malaysia (seriously), and wrote to them asking if they could make an order from the manufacturer. All of them turned me down, saying that they no longer carry that line of thread. So, it was time to look for it from all other places in the world =) I did my online hunting, and found a really nice lady who sold all things miniature, including the special thread i wanted!

Friendship

Problem was, she didn't really ship internationally. In times like this, all you need is a friend, or more than one? ^_^ Soon, the sweet lady and I made some arrangements to send the package to our friend in UK. And, it would please me very much to inform you that the threads used to make these 'limited edition' series traveled through quite a few hands (namely Mr. Toh and Mr. Jian Tern) before they reached safely in my home =) And it arrived rather quickly, just in time in fact, because another friend happened to be returning from UK.

And Finally, Love

This is really my very first attempt at creating a limited edition series. It is a risk for me, (I'm really not a risk taker >.<") as I create each piece with love, there is no promise that I would make any sales. But as a wise crafter once said,

"Artists, we just create, create for the love of creating. Create what you love, something that comes from your heart, not something that you think will "sell or make the deal". Because that doesn't matter in the end. It's the beauty in the art that comes out from you that matters."

So, I assure you that, each piece of snowflake has indeed been made with love. I wish every owner of these pieces the joy in knowing that they too, are special and unique, created with great love from Above!

To view the Collection, click the image below. Enjoy!

CONTACT ME

Have a Great Day!

I'm amazed

2010-11-10T08:57:00.002+08:00

I'm the girl:

who'd most likely laugh too loud in public,

laugh aloud at the wrong things,

choke on her food or drink and cough

involuntarily when she's with your friends,

trip and fall or twist her ankle when

she's all dressed up in make-up and a nice dress,

doesn't know what to say or how to act when she's in social situations,

drops food on her shirt 70% of the time,

wipe out the make-up on her right eye by rubbing her eyes,

cries a lot sometimes and doesn't know why,

And I probably do a hundred and one more things that can only happen to me,

and I am Amazed at how you really Love me still...

It's been 3 years, and I'm forever yours

3 years and counting: No.5

2010-11-05T18:51:00.002+08:00

One very interesting thing about us is that we are opposites when it comes to sleeping "times". Well, my psychiatrist will say that he has a perfect Circadian rhythm (when it gets dark, the brain signals your whole system that its time to sleep). He really has no problem falling asleep, unlike me, who stays up pretty late at night. I often envy him for being able to fall asleep so easily at night. Sometimes when he falls asleep before I do, I kind of feel "lonely", it's weird, I know.

So, sometimes, he tries to stay awake with me as long as possible. When he tries to do that, once in a blue moon...funny things happen.

There are a few stages of sleep, the first stage involving the transition of being awake to slowly drifting into sleep. Some times, we experience sensations of falling or experience knee-jerks during this stage. And sometimes, (grins) other funny things happen =D

So, yes, there have been a few episodes of "talking-nonsense" when he's "half-awake-asleep" as we call it. But now he doesn't get surprised like he used to. But I always get a kick out of these moments, especially when I get to tell him what happened the next day and see the look on his face. I just can't explain anymore clearly how funny it is!

So I guess it pays off for being the "lonely" night owl after all.

3 years and counting: No.4

2010-11-04T21:14:00.003+08:00

I'm not sure whether I'm right about guys being more forgetful than girls (okay, i'm aware this statement may start a never-ending debate, ha).

But anyway, in our case, I happen to remember most things 'involuntarily' while he's not really good at remembering say...less important things?

It doesn't really matter really, but sometimes i just find myself repeating myself ..pretty often. The worst ones are ... "who is "so-and-so"?, then i have to refresh his memory all over again,..."there, the one that did this and that and look like this or that"....followed by, "Owwwwwhhh, that one ah..."

It's another funny little thing that drives me up the wall but amuses me at the same time =]

So, recently..

Yes, we are SO not over the IKEA thing. Every time he thinks of IKEA, Perth, he'll bring it up again. Fortunately not very often =]

Yes, I DO forget stuff as well, often the more important stuff, but he's got my back for those, and besides, he REALLY does remember all the IMPORTANT things (ahemm,..especially dates ;p ) which I really give him credit for!

Hahaha, and now,...every time that song by Anna Nalick goes on the player,

he'll tell me quickly (proudly exclaiming) "I know, that's Anna Nalick!"

He just said it again like 2 seconds ago!!!!

(i got to remove her songs from the playlist for awhile hahaha)

...Oh man...karma...

Anyways, here's one for whoever is reading this,

A song from Anna Nalick!

approx. 1 minute ago.. "darling, This is Anna Nalick!...whats the name of this song?..."

3 years and counting: No.3

2010-11-03T10:33:00.003+08:00

When we got married, we have the chance to notice the littler things about each other.

I've noticed a lot of funny little things about him in this 3 years. Well, yeah we do things differently most of the time, but we try to adapt and compromise.

Sometimes it really drives him up the wall, but I don't even notice what it is... like the PEGs! He didn't say anything about it, until I realised that he rearranges them when I'm not looking. (slaps hand to forehead).

Nowadays I try to do it his way most of the time, just to make him happy (its really a small price to pay right?) ...but once in awhile, I like to irritate him and tell him i did it on purpose so I can smile at him with 'triumph'.

So far,...we haven't had those toilet seat or toothpaste arguments ('yet') haha. But these little things about him make him him, and it wouldn't be the same if he arranged the pegs like i do...

Little things like this makes memories of him, for me to keep forever in my heart.

3 years and counting: No.2

2010-11-02T11:34:00.003+08:00

Okay, okay, I realised I didn't write an introduction for this series "3 years and counting".

Well it's sort of like "10 days to I do", except that this time, its about our married life together.

It's really just simple and really silly things we do sometimes,

after all, the littlest things can bring unexpected joy.

Hope you enjoy, and hope they make you smile ^_^

So, yes, I love to hide his newspapers, not because I really hate newspapers. Haha. But just because I find it entertaining and the look on his face is always priceless.

I used to do this to my father when i was a kid. (haha, yes) Only, I didn't hide the newspapers...

I just disturbed him when he was reading it.

Disturb = poking him, pulling his leg hairs, "boo!"- ing him, etc.etc.

So, yes, I've taken it to another level =D

But I have to admit that I have recently been "converted"...

Well, I read some sections of his newspaper nowadays,

but I still try to hog the section that he really wants (at that time) heehee.

Old habits die hard, don't they?

3 years and counting: No.1

2010-11-01T12:22:00.004+08:00

You and YOUR newspaper always fascinates me ^_^

Sometimes

2010-05-16T10:47:00.005+08:00

Sometimes...

It seems that the unfairness can be so blatant,

but even so it can escape the eyes of so many people.

It makes me feel discouraged, but then I am reminded once more:


"This is my Father's world.   
O let me ne'er forget  
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,  
God is the ruler yet.   
This is my Father's world:   
why should my heart be sad?  
 The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!   
God reigns; let the earth be glad!"
~Maltbie Davenport Babcock~

newsong heartfelt thoughts

See You this Weekend!!!

Remember?

Sucker Punched

A thousand possibilities

On A Lighter Note

Dear Nobody

About My Extended Families and Beautiful People

Yellow

Surprises Surprises and More Surprises!!!

Of Toothbrushes and Friendship

Time

Isaiah 55

Where are you going?

Awareness Project 2

Confessions

A meeting of creative minds

Join Me?

7 days to go!

I thought I would, But I COULDN'T

10 more Days!

My first Swap

Work in Progress 3

2 pairs of new shoes

Work in Progress 2

Work in Progress

you MISSED it?!...nevermind, more stuff for ME! Muahahaha

My Mini Project

Wear BlueOn 2nd April

Busy Busy Busy!

FOR JAPAN

Would you buy craft kits from NewSong if 100% proceeds go to RED CRESCENT DISASTER RESPONSE IN JAPAN?

A Decade!

In MY Bubble

30 things

Granny Squares!!!

Happy Chinese New Year

Nobody can save the world

All about the lines

Pink and I

Reflections on 2010

Full Attendance!

Yay!!!

New Traditions

Blinking Lights and Memories

The "D" word

MINT

Tissues

Getting Real

SURPRISE!!!

I'm amazed

3 years and counting: No.5

3 years and counting: No.4

3 years and counting: No.3

3 years and counting: No.2

3 years and counting: No.1

Sometimes